Zach had an unfortunate experience at an after school activity. For you and me it would have been no big deal but he was DEVASTATED.
The children were given some instructions but because of some noisy classmates he did not hear them. He accidentally ate a cup cake that was for a game. When a classmate scolded him and he realized his mistake he was mortified. He felt horrible and began to cry. He snuck away and came home crying so hard he could hardly speak. All I could understand is that he would never go to another after school activity as he ran to his room sobbing.
I went to his room to find out what had happened. He was still completely choked up. After several minutes of snuggling and back rubs he was calm enough to explain what had happened. He just kept saying he was soooo mad at himself. I guess that was his way of saying embarrassed. I just let him get it all out and began to just ache along with him. I just wanted to tell him it would all be ok and I am sure no one would remember, but I knew he wasn't ready to hear that yet so I just listened.
A little while later it was time for T-ball and of course he didn't want to go because, just like all small towns, many of those same kids that witnessed his mistake would be there. We did get him to go and he was fine and no one said anything. I spent the evening thinking about how to reassure him that it was no big deal and that the best way to get over embarrassment was to act as if whatever happened was in fact no big deal and everyone makes mistakes. But he was sure some of the older kids would make fun of him the next day. He decided that he would pray for help not to feel embarrassed and that people would not remember what had happened.
After he went to bed my heart was breaking. Is this the beginning of what is to come as a parent to feel all your child's pains along with them even though you know many of them are no big deal but to them it may be the end of the world? You want to just fix the problem for them but know that often as in this one there really is no fixing just giving them the tools to cope, overcome, and be stronger because of it.
I decided to not mention anything the next morning because one, I didn't want the "I'm not going to school argument" and two, if he had forgotten I didn't want to re-open the wound. On the way out the door he reminded me about his prayers and he felt encouraged.
When he got home I waited for him to say something, anything about his experiences but in the end he had friends and weekend adventures on his mind. However, later in the evening we had such a sweet and tender moment. As he was getting ready for bed he explained to me how he knew Heavenly Father had answered his prayers. He told me that not only had no one said anything to him but that Heavenly Father had helped him not to even think about it himself so he didn't feel embarrassed. That night he also practiced sharing his testimony about the experience in hopes of doing so today in church. In the end he was to afraid to get up in front of the ward but I was so proud not just that the prayers worked but that he recognized the power in prayer.
That night I went to bed so proud and happy for Zach's experience and could not get the scriptures out of my mind how we truly don't know the joy without pain and sweet without the bitter. The contrast in feelings between the two nights were exactly that.
I love to see Zach grasping and using these gospel concepts. I am encouraged that maybe, just maybe, we are doing something right. My little boy is growing up.
The children were given some instructions but because of some noisy classmates he did not hear them. He accidentally ate a cup cake that was for a game. When a classmate scolded him and he realized his mistake he was mortified. He felt horrible and began to cry. He snuck away and came home crying so hard he could hardly speak. All I could understand is that he would never go to another after school activity as he ran to his room sobbing.
I went to his room to find out what had happened. He was still completely choked up. After several minutes of snuggling and back rubs he was calm enough to explain what had happened. He just kept saying he was soooo mad at himself. I guess that was his way of saying embarrassed. I just let him get it all out and began to just ache along with him. I just wanted to tell him it would all be ok and I am sure no one would remember, but I knew he wasn't ready to hear that yet so I just listened.
A little while later it was time for T-ball and of course he didn't want to go because, just like all small towns, many of those same kids that witnessed his mistake would be there. We did get him to go and he was fine and no one said anything. I spent the evening thinking about how to reassure him that it was no big deal and that the best way to get over embarrassment was to act as if whatever happened was in fact no big deal and everyone makes mistakes. But he was sure some of the older kids would make fun of him the next day. He decided that he would pray for help not to feel embarrassed and that people would not remember what had happened.
After he went to bed my heart was breaking. Is this the beginning of what is to come as a parent to feel all your child's pains along with them even though you know many of them are no big deal but to them it may be the end of the world? You want to just fix the problem for them but know that often as in this one there really is no fixing just giving them the tools to cope, overcome, and be stronger because of it.
I decided to not mention anything the next morning because one, I didn't want the "I'm not going to school argument" and two, if he had forgotten I didn't want to re-open the wound. On the way out the door he reminded me about his prayers and he felt encouraged.
When he got home I waited for him to say something, anything about his experiences but in the end he had friends and weekend adventures on his mind. However, later in the evening we had such a sweet and tender moment. As he was getting ready for bed he explained to me how he knew Heavenly Father had answered his prayers. He told me that not only had no one said anything to him but that Heavenly Father had helped him not to even think about it himself so he didn't feel embarrassed. That night he also practiced sharing his testimony about the experience in hopes of doing so today in church. In the end he was to afraid to get up in front of the ward but I was so proud not just that the prayers worked but that he recognized the power in prayer.
That night I went to bed so proud and happy for Zach's experience and could not get the scriptures out of my mind how we truly don't know the joy without pain and sweet without the bitter. The contrast in feelings between the two nights were exactly that.
I love to see Zach grasping and using these gospel concepts. I am encouraged that maybe, just maybe, we are doing something right. My little boy is growing up.
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