Table Manners

Teaching our boys proper table manners is an ongoing process. Over the years we have addressed the following concerns:

• It is not o.k. to throw plates, cups, or silverware at the table or anyone sitting at or around the table.
• It is not o.k. to tip over full drink glasses for fun.
• No banging silverware on the table. After Ethan took a chunk of glass out of our last table we decided to get one that looked a little more distressed. The boys keep asking why the table already has marks in it, upset that they didn't personally get to put them there.
• Shirts are NOT napkins.
• Belching accidentally happens but the extended full abdominal push ones are not polite and excuse me doesn't counter balance the grossness.
• It is not necessary to cry, fuss, and whine for 30 minutes before even trying a bite of dinner and deciding you do indeed like it.
• Climbing on the table is not considered dinner entertainment.
• Prayer must be said before the meal is consumed.
• Taking bites out of others food (ie sandwich) then eating your own lunch is not o.k.
• Licking the salt shaker top is not hygienic.
• Butter is not a main course.
• Dessert such as this is not offered to those who do not finish their meal.

But tonight Zach reached a whole new level of uncouthness at the table. After finishing his meal he stand on his chair and begins to pull both pant and underwear down for inspection. As the rest of us are still eating Chris and I choke out WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? His response was that he was checking for liquid gas. We plead with him to pull his pants back up and try to help him understand that you never say things like that at the table because it's no ones business to know and if you need to check then just please excuse yourself and do so. With in minutes he hops down and says "Excuse me I have to check my business."

About 5 minutes later just as the rest of us are finishing up he comes prancing down the hall in a T-shirt and completely bare bummed asking everyone to check out his new tail. He had stuck toilet paper in his bum crack and had a long line of it trailing behind him. We gave one of those parental, THAT IS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE LOOKS AND COMMENTS as we are really trying to stifle the laughs.